LMAO Wednesday

~I told Santa you were good this year....and
He hasn't stopped laughing since! 

~A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

~No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.

~No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!

~Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.

Which one picked it up?

   Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

~As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, 

"And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: 

"Didn't you get my E-mail?"