LMAO Wednesday

~When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

~"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house." -Zsa Zsa Gabor

~"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner." -Lyndon B. Johnson.

~"I can resist everything except temptation." -Oscar Wilde.

~A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.