Wednesday, August 25, 2010

LMAO Wednesday

Today I'm posting jokes about living in New England. I've lived in New England all my life. In fact I've only traveled out of New England a handful of times, so I can say with certainty that these jokes are in fact true!

You know you're from New England when........

-your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May.

-you use the word "wicked" (all the time!)

-you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

-you find a snowmobile as a reasonable means of transportation for 4 months out of the year.

-you consider 65 degree ocean water "warm."

-chocolate sprinkles will forever be known as "Jimmies."

-"Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.

-you've been to the Cape.

-stop signs mean slow down a little bit, but only if you feel like it.

-you keep an ice scraper in your car year 'round.

-you've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so that you can make a left turn. (isn't that how everyone drives?)

-you know that its not really "Six Flags New England"... but "Riverside".

-you know what a whoopie pie is.

-you measure distance in hours.

-you know what "Shaw's" is.

-everyone in town over 50 goes to Florida between October and April.

-you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

-you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

-you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

-you know what a bubblela is, and you drink soda, and you pop someone in the face.

-you stay on the same road long enough, the name will change at least 3 times.

-someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out as soon as the light turned green... Or you have honked at someone because they didn't peel out as soon as the light turned green.

-you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.

-you refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."

-you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

-the speed limit on the highway is 65 mph -- you're going 80, and everybody is passing you.

-there are 25 Dunkin' Donuts within 20 minutes of your house.

-driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

-you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

-you've ever gone candlepin bowling.

-you think 3 straight days of 90 degree weather is a heatwave. (It is!)

-the transportation system is known as the "T," subway is just a fast food place.

-your town or a neighboring one has a rotary/circle/roundabout.

-someone says "Patriot" and you immediately think of the football Team.

-you meant to go to cvs, but you miss the turn by five feet and wind up at walgreens; look across the street, and decide you'd better go to brooks instead.

-Sox-Yankees games are a life and death matter.

-there is a town green in the middle of your town.

-you refuse anything but real maple syrup.

-you regularly drive on roads that are as narrow and windy as a deer trail.

-you know how to cross 4 lanes of traffic in 5 seconds.

-you know that a yellow light means that at least 5 more cars can make it through before it turns red.

-you get pissed off when people assume New York is part of New England.

-a yellow light means "You can make it if you go a little faster"

-the first day after winter that's it sunny outside, you roll down all the windows of your car and pretend its summer, and even though its still 30 degrees, you refuse to roll up your windows.

No comments: